I remember, after being in my 20s for the usual number of years, the first time someone asked me how old I was after I turned 30. Same thing for 40. It was hard to say it out loud. The good news is that I’m getting a lot of practice saying that I’m 50 because people in Rwanda don’t have the Western hesitation about asking how old you are. People ask your age as a matter of introductory information like whether you speak French or English, where you’re from, why you’re in Rwanda, and how many kids you have. When I tried to explain the Western custom of lying about your age to the students in one of my English classes, they just looked confused even after Etienne translated into Kinyarwanda. In Rwanda, where the average life expectancy is about 53, advanced age is a badge of honor.
The fun part of being honest about my age is that no one here believes me. They’re actually aghast when I tell them I’m 50. Maybe I flatter myself, but I think their surprise is genuine. It’s not that I look particularly youthful; it’s that they don’t adhere to the Western custom of lying about age. In addition, people have hard lives, so many Rwandan people who are 50 look like they’re 70. Back home in the US, I look my age, but here people think I’m 35.
Last week John got around to asking me how old I am. He just about fell over when I told him. Then he and Micaela started laughing, a private joke or something. So here’s the story…they had to wait a long time for me at the airport when I arrived because I was waiting for my suitcase that didn’t show up. I was the last person out of the baggage claim area. In the meantime, John had gone looking around for me. He knew my age, and he reported back to Micaela and Etienne that he said that he had seen a muzungu in the baggage claim area, but he didn’t think it was me because the woman he had seen was much younger than 50. With this kind of flattery, I may have to consider moving to Rwanda forever.
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5 comments:
Wow! Sign me up for Rwanda, too. I don't want to work as hard as you do. I just want to sit around looking 10-15 years younger than my chronological age and impressing the Rwandans.
Leslie
Yeah, it's nice to have people think you look young. C'mon over...you can sit around if you want to. We could put a lawn chair at the side of our street and you could ask passersby to guess your age. If they're wrong, you collect a couple hundred francs. Not a bad way to make a living.
E., I think you are being unduly modest about your own youthful appearance (compared to other rapidly-aging boomers I know)... but I had to laugh at the notion of trying to explain lying about one's age to those who don't think such practices are necessary. Have you noticed other forms of "culturally approved candor"?
That's hard to say because of the language barrier. It seems that people are more open about how much money they make than Western people, but I'm not totally sure of that, again because of language.
You write very well.
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